So I was having a chat with my therapist last week and like every time we talk, the same issue comes up: wanting stability. Being a millennial supposedly means traveling the world, not being bound to your country and living the life of a global citizen. Which is all well and good, don’t get me wrong. But I think my secret millennial dream is wanting stability. Traveling around, studying, trying to figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life is daunting. I’m constantly wistfully thinking of those days when all I thought about was graduating college.
Because figuring out what stability means isn’t easy. For some of us, it means having a stable job and income. For others, it’s an emotional question. Honestly for most of us, it’s probably a bit of both. It’s exhausting to think that in a few months, I have to yet again secure work and find a new place to live. Bleck. Beyond that, trying to juggle what I want and what my boyfriend wants is crazy. I know that living life is taking other people’s wishes and wants into consideration but it’s insanely exhausting. Granted, I am known to be a bit of a control freak… so perhaps in this case, it’s just me. But how is anyone supposed to adult in an environment like this?
A part of me knows that change is constant and that nothing I do will ever slow it down. The only thing to do is go along for the ride and hope that you’re managing to plant your feet on the ground every once in awhile. But there’s a smaller voice in my head, and that voice just wants everything to stop for a second. To take a month to just be. To know that I can do a thing without always considering what is happening in the future. Without thinking that I need to find a job or the next stage of studies. The problem with six month internships and single semester Masters is the second you start, you have to immediately start thinking “What’s Next?”
You’re talking to a serious West Wing fan, don’t worry. I meant it. But in all seriousness, some kind of stability or plan would be nice. I do try… to make plans and figure out my life in gradient steps, and yet – I keep having to readjust. It’s sort of like how European countries before the onset of the Second World War kept having to adjust their policies because just one shift for Hitler wasn’t enough.
That’s what I mean. Anyways, forgive my musing for this week – more serious writing is taking place like I mentioned last week – but until it’s been edited and razed down to only the finest words – I will keep it in my Microsoft Word document far away from discerning gazes.
If you’re interested in anything else I wrote the last few weeks, check those articles out here:
- The Decline of Mikhail Saakashvili
- What Happens after the Olympics?
- Four Ways I Stay Mindful At Night
- Suicide in the Netherlands