I’m staring blankly at the wall waiting for my body to consume the caffeine it needs to function. Waiting… Waiting… Random thought, did you realize it’s less than a month till Thanksgiving? By far, it’s my favorite holiday of the year. Why? Besides the absurd amount of cooking, it’s one of the few times of year I get to spend time with a large portion of my family. What is even odder is that in 18 days, I’ll be flying back home to the States. Weird. I haven’t been home in almost a year.
Home makes me feel safe. I’m reminded of the days where I had a solid support system and the absurd confidence that my five-year plan was attainable and reasonable. On the other hand, I’m also subject to this terrifying rush of fear, that if I fail or something goes wrong, I will end up back there. Dramatics, I know. Of course, you can’t forget culture shock. I used to think culture shock was a joke, one that didn’t really matter. However, the last couple times I’ve been home – I have felt, for lack of a better word, out-of-place.
You don’t feel quite comfortable in your adopted home, and you’re still fitting in your old one. It’s really the perfect scenario, I know. So I’ll be looking forward to that, and wondering what new shocks there are to come. Then again, dealing with the ever-increasing laundry list of items to do is always a good distraction. I love my lists and I love having things to do. This Monday, though, I’m feeling like a good cup of tea, a movie, and an early night filled with the best kind of sleep. Fingers crossed I get it.