Never again will I underestimate South African winter. Never again. I wasn’t really here for the biting cold temperatures and freezing feet that I continue to endure. I was here for the all-together worthwhile task of visiting my far away boyfriend, Jim. There’s a lot of literature on the merits and perils of a long distance relationship, and now that I’ve been in one for just around 5ish months – I entirely understand the fuss. It’s really hard to do this, to love someone while simultaneously finding the distance unbearable. But it’s also weekends like this that make me realise it’s worth it.
Being in love reminds me of that sensation one gets when drinking a particularly delicious cup of tea. Each sip warms my heart just a little bit more, bringing a smile to my face whether I want to or not. Perhaps that isn’t the most apt comparison I could make, but it does the job. I want to find the right words, compose the perfect sentence to describe exactly how I feel. Yet each time I come up short. What words can I possibly use to describe my fingers interlocking with his?
Short Answer: None * Longer Answer: Give me some time and I’ll think of something poetic
What did you do, you ask? Honestly, when I think about it – it doesn’t feel like much. We had lunch together. I walked hand in hand with Jim while he went on Pokemon quests throughout the park. We cuddled while watching movie after movie and playing trivia games. He made me breakfast and endless cups of tea. We made disgusting coo-like noises at one another until one of us broke, snorting at how gross and sappy we were. He showed me around his home, made me dinner – we talked. Disgusting cute awfully sappy couple things.
But that’s the thing about being a long distance couple – every second, no matter how kitsch or cheesy counts. I could honestly care less if we just sat around saying not a single word to each other. Just being there with him is enough.
I leave in just over 12 hours back to the Netherlands. The one thought striking me is this: it’s the smaller things this vacation that have made me appreciate my time here. Not that I haven’t enjoyed going on dates, I have. But the things that have made me the happiest are Jim taking my hand to squeeze for no reason at all, a small kiss to my forehead, an arm wrapped around my waist, saying and hearing I love you in person. Small big things condensed in all-together too short holiday.
Quote from Duplicity (2009): I think about you all the time. I think about you even when you’re with me. I look at you, I can’t stop looking at you. I look at you, and I think, “That woman… That woman knows who I am and loves me anyway.”