I’ve been having trouble writing recently. Actually, I’ve been having trouble getting my thoughts into any kind of sensible order. I’m at once so incredibly excited to move and start work, and that’s made me realise just how much I appreciate the little things here. Instead of looking ahead, trying to think about finishing school, seeing boyfriends and moving – I’ve been at least trying to look inward.
Okay – one of those things is not like the other. I am so incredibly excited to go and see Jim in less than a month. It’s almost a little gross how utterly buzzed I am to wake up each morning a little bit closer to when I’ll hop on a plane to Cape Town and get to be with him again. It was such a short time we got to spend together, and yet… talking with him each day is one of my favourite things. I love him so much. Seeing his texts brings a smile to my face every time, whether it’s an emoji or some absurdly sappy message. I know I sound ridiculous. Trust me – I know (I reread the texts). Twenty-eight days cannot come soon enough.
Ahem. Excuse me for that riff (I have such difficulty controlling my love-strung brain). Back to the little things in life… In that quest, I taken more time to do yoga. I wake up every morning and do around 30 minutes, cook myself a healthy breakfast with tea – and just let myself be. Whether I want to read the news, a new book or listen to a podcast is up to me – but that “stopping motion” has had a really powerful affect.
Sure. My head still runs a thousand ways at once when I’m trying to coordinate business meetings, find a new flat and prepare oral presentations for school. Now though, I feel like I can handle it. Minus the hormones from starting birth control, my emotions are fairly steady and there’s no more tearing up in bathroom stalls from the sheer stress of it all. I’d highly recommend this approach – it’s been such a lifesaver.
One final thing and I really apologise for how chaotic and late this post is. I had a really great realisation last week and I wanted to share it with my few yet dedicated readers. You should do what makes you happy. It’s repetitive and surely we’ve all read it on one or two inspirational books, but it really clicked for me recently. I don’t want to apologise for doing what makes me happy and feel loved – whether it’s cutting out negativity in my life or just deciding that I need alone time and obtaining it. Taking charge with other people is something I’m now becoming more familiar with (thank you graduate school) – so I guess now it’s time to do that with myself?
Well. This all sounds incredibly tacky. I’m going to post it anyways. You’re not reading me at my most eloquent, but you’re hearing me loud and clear as my most truthful.