Two Days Before the Apocalypse

img_0117In case you haven’t noticed, it’s two days before the US election… and there’s some mild panic around the Internet, within my own country and abroad. Will Hillary Clinton trounce Donald Trump, or are well all fated to face World War 3 in the next four years? I’m trying not to stress about it too much…. but that all came to a head on Friday

I woke up after being plagued by nightmares yet again, tired and feeling absolutely horrid for the fifth day in a row. What was wrong? All week, I had been experiencing bouts of lightheadedness, shaky muscle tremors and overall had been feeling awful. After taking a moment to have a brief stress cry, I examined my habits. What was wrong? I had been following the election closely, been staring at screens near-constantly in the job search, and had slept relatively little. Normal life? Pretty much.

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Processed with VSCO with s3 preset

It was then I realised I couldn’t point to the last book I read for joy, or when I wasn’t running around like a chicken with its head chopped off. That…. that was problematic. So I took a step back. I canceled the majority of my plans for Friday and the rest of the weekend, went ahead with some yoga and deep breathing exercises, and read a new book. I gifted for the sake of giving, made some banana bread and chili, and went to bed without using my phone as a fifth limb.

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Processed with VSCO with s3 preset

And you know what? Today, I feel practically whole again. Sunday brings with it some mild concern about the future of my country, but on the other hand: I get to make chocolate scones with a friend and spend time just relaxing with some tea and cinnamon-scented candles. What better way is there to relax and take a step back from life? I think it’s easier than we imagine to get caught up in the to-do lists of life, to constantly validate ourselves based on what we achieve, rather than the simple fact of our existence. I am more guilty of that than most, given my proclivity for scheduling and over-the-top organisation.

Processed with VSCO with s3 presetSo despite the fact my Very Serious German Test is on Tuesday, and the future fate of the world is being decided by a country that thought Twinkies was a good idea – I’m taking a detox. November and December are the months were we get to think the most about family, friends and what we’ve done with our year so far. Meanwhile, I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do in the next one (without much success). Instead of that, I’m going to think about Christmas, how much I love Germany, writing, and how grateful I am to have as much as I do. I urge you to take a moment to breathe and maybe make a list of things that you’re grateful for.

Have a non-stressful week and (obviously because I’m feeling the vibes) Namaste

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